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07:58 pm
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Little absurdities of the day
and one large one.
The man in front of me at the Walgreens checkout buys a pack of Marlboros and donates to the American Heart Association.
I drive by the offices of Near North Properties located on 47th & King on the South Side.
Yahoo! headlines: President to address oil "addiction" in SOTU speech.
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06:28 pm
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Leg of Warthog
in Sweet and Sour Sauce and other delicacies in The Africa Cookbook.
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05:06 pm
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A pair of skates
the glassy ice and me.
When I arrived by bike at 1:00, the rink was empty. I practiced basic figure moves, swizzles, slaloms, stops and crossovers, in perfect peace with the sun shining brilliantly off the ice and the wind in my face.
I'm gonna have to find an indoor rink when it warms up.
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05:02 pm
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You meet the most interesting people
in Hyde Park.
Today I was at the Starbucks reading another chapter of Damian's "Object-Oriented Perl" when I struck up a conversation with a woman next to me who was surrounded by and reading from a stack of books on the Virgin Mary. It turns out she is writing The Everything Virgin Mary book, part of the Everything Book series, which is a knockoff of the Dummies series. She's a bit nervous since she has to cover 2,000 years worth of Marian history and theology in a few hundred pages and two and a half months!
Watch for it on your mass-market bookstore shelves.
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03:31 pm
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This car just screams
"Junior Nazi Party Official."
The Chrysler 300C.
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10:35 am
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Ladies: Recently divorced?
You want one of these.
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05:59 pm
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For musicians
Top ten signs you might be getting too old to gig.
10. During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those annoying cymbals.
9. All you want from groupies is a foot massage.
8. Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.
7. You need your glasses to see your amp settings.
6. You no longer use a tip jar.
5. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.
4. You need a nap before the gig.
3. During the breaks, you now go to your van to lie down.
2. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
1. The waitress is your daughter.
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09:13 pm
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Under the NCLB Act
we are entitled to a statement of our child's teacher's credentials. I see that we may get this letter in our choice of eight languages. I would like ours in Bosnian.
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05:38 pm
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Sea lion
gives hybrid cars the seal of approval.
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04:50 pm
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Take pride in your dorky little accomplishments
Sometimes it's all you've got.
I just layered a half-meat, half-vegetable lasagna. I perfectly estimated, without consulting a recipe, all the ingredients required. Nothing was left over.
Now I need to reduce the mess the process generates.
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07:49 pm
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Mmmmmm
Homemade pad thai.
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09:27 am
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Appropriate strikes again
"Mommy, is it appropriate to have French toast for breakfast?"
"Of course it's appropriate, honey!"
Turns out we have no bread. So, it's appropriate, but not possible.
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09:23 am
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- Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of zrusilla.
- Zrusilla can turn her stomach inside out!
- Birds do not sleep in zrusilla, though they may rest in her from time to time.
- Antarctica is the only continent without zrusilla.
- Zrusilla was declared extinct in 1902.
- It takes forty minutes to hard-boil zrusilla.
- More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in zrusilla!
- Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using zrusilla!
- The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Zrusilla Head.
- Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that zrusilla is near.
Frighteningly accurate. That bit about turning my stomach inside out? Absolutely true. My medications rip up my stomach like a road crew rips up the Dan Ryan in summer. And fellas? Wash your hands. Please. For everyone's good.
Current Music: "Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen," Neil Sedaka
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09:18 am
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I wrapped up my contract
at Bank of America.
Word of my departure travelled quickly up and down the line of cubes. The knuckleheads, as I have come to affectionately call my cubiclemates, were startled and upset. "What? You can't extend? I can't believe you're not going to be here on Tuesday!" I called over my supervisor. "These fellows have become emotionally attached to me," I told him. "Next time you get a female contractor, give them the heads-up a few days in advance so they can deal with their grief."
It was a pleasant gig, and a total freebie that fell from the sky into my lap.
I never want to see a Vignette product again, though.
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09:08 pm
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Spam I didn't open
Subject: YOUR NAMESAKE IN IRAQ
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04:47 pm
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A House is Not a Motel
in Ontario in January. A playlist for Hisey:
- "A House is Not a Motel," Love
- "Things I'd Like to Say", New Colony Six
- "When Leon Spinx Moved Into Town", Califone
- "Out of My Hands", This Kind of Punishment
- "Alternate Route to Vulcan Street", Super Furry Animals
- "Being It", Arthur Russell
- "Panik", Métal Urbain
- "You Are Chains", Secret Machines
- "Choci Loni", Young Marble Giants
- "Dance of the Hopping Mad", The Raincoats
- "Touch", The Lyres
- "Familiarity Breeds Contempt", The Chills
- "Out of Limits", Marketts
- "Bang Bang", Joe Cub Sextet
- "I Have Always Been Here Before", Roky Erickson
- "Facelist", Sunburned Hand of the Man
- "Snow Your Thirst and Sun Your Open Mouth", Amon Düül
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11:06 am
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New hope for my job search
I can apply to be head coach of the Green Bay Packers.
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02:04 pm
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Round shiny things
from Hyde Park Records.- Come Down, The Dandy Warhols
- Singles. Period. The Ex. A collection of singles from the vinyl years
- Diamond Dogs, David Bowie.
- Uhuru Na Umoja, Frank Wright
- World of Echo, Arthur Russell
- An apparently-eponymous EP by The Arcade Fire
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02:03 pm
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Tonight's menu
Roast chicken, homemade bread, salad.
UPDATE: Roast chicken turned out great. Golden brown, crispy skin, with tender, juicy meat. Bread a total failure. An experienced baker can tell early on when she's looking at a clunker--yeast won't sponge properly, gluten doesn't seem to develop in the dough--and I knew it. I need better, fresher ingredients.
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01:12 pm
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Fashion disasters
I try to stay out of fashion trouble by keeping my outfits very low-key, somewhat up to date, and within a narrow range. Some folks get a bit more adventurous and get themselves into trouble.
Feathers are by definition camp and should never be worn to dinner. Especially not by women. Feathers at the neck and wrist are unconducive to dining.
Fitted panel skirts, flared at the hem, from upholstery-weight fabric are ill-advised on most people. Actually, all people, now that I think of it, but especially those with booty.
Leave grandma's curtains alone. Avoid the cream-white damask or crushed velvet. Watch where those topstitched seams fall--they draw the eye like a magnet, usually where you don't want it.
Cowl necks are gone, baby, and aren't coming back around any time soon. Glitter is extremely tricky to wear. An entire top or skirt of glitter is too much for dinner, particularly if you are of a certain age and your husband even more so.
Gentlemen, denim in any form is not appropriate for a fine dinner. Neither are western shirts or ratty sweaters.
A quick rule of thumb for men or women: if David Bowie would wear it more stylishly than you, put it back on the rack.
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